Courthouse Fashion of the Dudu Topaz Gang – or – What Your Shirt Says About You

Indictments were filed today against more people allegedly involved in the attacks ordered by television entertainer Dudu Topaz against Israeli media executives. The news coverage gave a glimpse into the psyche of the criminal mind, in a ‘What were they thinking?‘ kinda way:

Yair Awami - Channel 2 News - July 2, 2009
Yair Awami, who was charged in connection with the attack on media executive Avi Nir from Keshet TV, chose to wear to court his black Nike T-Shirt with the slogan ‘KISS MY AIRS.‘ I am certain the middle-aged judges appreciated the subtle gesture, and I can only assume his chances of being released from prison and being placed under house arrest diminished drastically after he made his fashion statement.

Muhammad Younis - Ynet News - June 28, 2009
Muhammad Younis, who was charged with conspiracy to commit a crime and assault for attacking actors’ agent Boaz Ben Zion, keeps showing up in court with tight fit shirts. If you are a bodybuilder who has huge chest muscles and Popeye arms, and you are accused of being the thug in a criminal conspiracy to commit crimes – maybe the day you come out of your hiding place and surrender to the police would be a good day to not wear your regular tight fitting shirt, as you enter the police station with your scrawny looking lawyer. Maybe the message ‘I am a big scary man‘ is not the right one to send when you find yourself on the wrong side of the law and you need to prove your innocence.

Dudu Topaz - Channel 2 News - July 2, 2009
Dudu Topaz himself appeared in court in an Abercrombie & Fitch shirt with the text ‘FITCH ATHL 92‘ on it. Pretty standard and innocent looking, right? Or is it? Could it be an anagrammed message for someone to ‘LIFT HATCH’ so that he can escape from prison? – or maybe it has something to do with ‘THAT FILCH’, or maybe he is just lonely and wants to ‘CHAT FILTH’? …and don’t get me started on that ’92’.

To put things in perspective, the only person from that gang who was released today was Moshe Ohana, who was suspected of mediating between Dudu Topaz and the attackers. Check out the shirt he chose to wear today:
Moshe Ohana - Channel 2 News - July 2, 2009

Momo Talpaz Bids Adieu

Israeli entertainer Dudu Topaz admitted today of assaulting three TV executives. It is only because of our primitive brains that we tend to confuse people we recognize with people we know. There are a million zingers to tell and loads of archive footage to rehash, but at the end of the day this is just a sad and tragic story about falling in love with a reflection in a pool.

Israelis who grew up in the 1970s might remember a Sesame Street puppet who hosted “Here Is Your Life”. In the original version the character’s name is Guy Smiley but when the local Hebrew version had to pick a name they went for Momo Talpaz, a play on Dudu Topaz’s name – the only real megastar that Israeli TV ever had. This is my farewell:
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We Find the Defendant Guilty of Being Stupid

Measuring the speed in which rumors spread, it seems Israel is not much bigger than a Shtetl. The latest rumor circulating in the past few days was about Israeli entertainer Dudu Topaz‘s alleged involvement in the assault of TV executive Shira Margalit. I usually assume people are innocent, until they start vehemently denying any wrongdoing. It isn’t scientific but I usually think those who try hardest to prove their innocence are usually guilty. Watching Topaz vehemently deny any wrongdoing on Channel 2, I thought it was strange he mentioned driving to his ex-wife who ‘lives near Margalit’. Why would I care where he was? Up to that moment I assumed he hasn’t done anything wrong, so why try to charm me with irrelevant facts? He could have been on the moon for all I care, and still could have hired someone to attack Margalit, so how confessing to his whereabouts contribute to his efforts of dismissing these rumors?

Apparently, I was not the only one noticing it, as today’s Maariv took this unnecessary sentence and made it into a full page article (an extra-large holiday-edition page), including a street map that is supposed to prove Topaz had no business entering Margalit’s street. If only Topaz had watched this presentation by professor James Duane of the Regent University School of Law in Virginia titled ‘In Praise of the Fifth Amendment: Why No Criminal Suspect Should Ever Talk to the Police‘: