Dolly Parton Drives Me Crazy

[singlepic id=13 w=250 h=240 float=right]Dolly Parton, the original Dumb Blond and the herald of this all-American cultural phenomena (preceding Paris Hilton by 40 years), will release her new Backwoods Barbie album this coming February 26th.
Not a big Dolly fan myself, I am however the biggest sucker for cover versions, and Dolly’s new album includes the craziest country rendition to Fine Young Cannibals’ 1989 hit She Drive Me Crazy.

Have a listen and take special notice to the funky fiddle riff:

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Buy this MP3 track or buy the entire album.
Continue reading Dolly Parton Drives Me Crazy

Yahoo Rewards Sarcasm

A year ago I wasted some time answering questions on Yahoo! Answers. It is a fun system that lets people ask questions and get answers from their peers. You can gain points if your answer is chosen as Best Answer by the person who asked the question, or else if it is voted as such by other members within a week.

For some reason I just got an email from Yahoo letting me know an answer I gave a year ago was voted as Best Answer. For your amusement, here is the mentioned question and my reply – apparently my answer was given close to my losing patience with the service:

Yahoo! Answers Rewards Sarcasm

They say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit – but they never tell you it will earn you credit points.

Obama Wins* Super-Tuesday – or – Who Would Jew Vote For?

We all know Jews control the media. Yes, ever since our secret protocols were revealed the entire world knows our real intensions. Today as I watched will.i.am’s inspirational Yes We Can song in support of Presidential candidate Barack Obama, I could not help noticing how deep our control of the media goes, as one of our spies was able to insert a subliminal message in our secret Hebrew language.

Watch the clip, and roll to minute marks 1:09 and 1:44:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jjXyqcx-mYY
[singlepic id=12 w=320 h=200 float=right]Now you know how Obama won*: our very own Israeli-born Mossad agent/part-time model/struggling actress Maya Rubin       was able to infiltrate the editing studio where the video was made, and inserted a message to all our sleeper agents in our encrypted holy tongue: ‘Ken, Anu Yeholim‘ which loosely translates to ‘Yes, We Can’. Those of you in the know remember that this is the same message that notified American Zionists not to go to work on that day in 2001.

* At the time of publishing this post the polls are still open, so obviously this is another Jewish scheme to lure people who Google the subject.
Any reference to Jewish schemes, Zionists plots, acts of espionage and the general conspiratorial undertone in this post should be taken as mere satire by anyone reading this.
Except for Jews, which are ordered to take this post literally by the General HQ.

Which Presidential Candidate Should I Vote For On Super-Tuesday?

Good Morning!

If you happen to be one of the few who will have a chance to determine the future of the world (yes, the world – see Dubya’s legacy for reference), but you just happened to sleep through the debates and you are not really sure where the candidates stand on issues that concern you, here is a solution for you:
GlassBooth.org is a website that will help you decide who to vote for. All you have to do is select which hot button issues concern you, and how much you care about it, and the website will tell you which candidate shares your beliefs, based on past votes and campaign speeches.

What Presidential Candidate Should I Vote For On Super-Tuesday?The issues you can choose from are:
– Medical Marijuana and Drug Policy
– Civil Liberties and Domestic Security
– Crime and Punishment
– Iraq and Foreign Policy
– Trade and Economics
– Environment and Energy
– Gun Control
– Immigration
– Health Care
– Social Security
– Taxes and Budget
– Education
– Gay Rights
– Abortion and Birth Control

Have a productive Super-Tuesday,
Vote early and often!

Sarah Silverman and Meta-Bigotry

The hive is buzzing today with the performance comedian Sarah Silverman gave last night on the Jimmy Kimmel show, and so I thought it might be a good time to confess:

I find Silverman’s comedy act to be hysterical!

If anyone asks how Archie Bunker‘s comedy from the 1970’s would look in our time, you only need to point them to Silverman’s Jesus is Magic act or to Sacha Baron Cohen’s Borat.
While this sort of comedy is often confused with actual bigotry by people who are probably just not smart enough to get it, comedians who venture upon it get both my laughs and my respect.

Here is a little taste from Silverman’s Jesus is Magic DVD – lyrics follow:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SWO4WtZpbSY

Sarah Silverman – German Cars (I Love You More) – Lyrics

I love you more than bears love honey
I love you more than Jews love money
I love you more than Asians are good at math

I love you even if it’s not hip
I love you more than black people don’t tip
I love you more than Puerto Ricans need baths

I love you more than girls love dolls
I love you more than dogs love balls
I love you more than the white stuff in a zit

I love you like Gary Busey
I love you more than dikes love pussy
I love you more than my after-show monster-bong hit

Jewish people driving German cars
Jewish people driving German cars
Jewie people buying German cars, what the cock is that shit?

But maybe it’s like “take back the night”
Maybe it’s like how bleeding hearts grow old and swing to the right
Maybe it’s like when a faggot calls himself a faggot

Jewish people driving German cars
It’s the opposite of FUBU

But maybe it’s Patty Hearst siding with her kidnappers
Maybe it’s South African miner killing diamond-wearing gangsta rappers
Maybe it’s like when black guys call each other niggers